(drama)A courageous stand against rampant McCarthyism. George Clooney dares you to blacklist him, Senator!
19. The 40 Year Old Virgin
(comedy)Bah! Pope Benedict XVI mocks your meager forty years, Steve Carell! And he wonders why you went for the hot grandma instead of Elizabeth Banks.
18. Corpse Bride
(animated)Now that I've seen a children's film about necrophilia, I think I've seen everything.
17. King Kong
(action)The movie is so long that we should be grateful for every edit made. Even though the edit that cuts between the monkey on the island and the monkey in New York is a little too convenient.
16. Munich
(drama)Bad ass assassination (rolls off the tongue, doesn't it?) followed by the weirdest love scene ever. Seriously, who imagines mass murder while they're plowing their wife?
15. Jarhead
(war)The first movie that takes an honest look at the only war where more of our soldiers were bored to death than killed by enemy fire. Don't worry, boys! Round two is on the horizon!
14. Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
(action)There's a stunning lack of Jar Jar in this film. It's possible, however, that putting him in would have created too discordant a tone in the same movie where a bunch of little kids get lightsabered into stew meat.
13. Oliver Twist
(drama)No two ways about it, any wayward child who breaks into my house is going straight to jail. Don't care how many Jews made him do it. What is this, The Child Slaver of Venice
?12. Hard Candy
(drama)You want to convince perverts to stay away from teenage girls? Show them a bunch a screaming Twilight
fans.11. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
(comedy)The funniest movie ever made about our planet being destroyed. Watch and learn, Al Gore.
10. Sin City
(crime)You know the way Pixar movies are wholesome? Well, this is like that, except sleazy instead of wholesome.
9. MirrorMask
(fantasy, partly animated)I would also prefer the harsh reality of a dying mother over a fantasy world where everyone has paper masks for heads or are sculpted out of cheese. Having an evil twin is a good excuse for anything.
8. Elizabethtown
(romance)Aside from the romance story, this movie has the coolest tennis shoes ever designed. I think they dispense toothpaste, or something.
7. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
(fantasy)Second good director in a row. It'd be nice if that trend continued, but it won't. As for the story, apparently British girls are also susceptible to the so-called charms of Eurotrash.
6. Kingdom of Heaven
(historical epic)Fighting to reclaim your number three holiest city is a bit like wanting to buy the third most expensive car when you already own the top two.
5. Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
(fantasy)Always winter, never Christmas. On the other hand, always Halloween. Except instead of peanut butter cups, you get Turkish delight with the bitter taste of betrayal.
4. A History of Violence
(crime)Or, the Evening News Crew In The West. Gotta love violence for violence's sake, even if Aragorn is pretty demure for a psychopath.
3. Batman Begins
(action)It's cool to see Batman become Batman, but I got a news flash for the League of Shadows. Rome was hardly at the height of its decadence by the time the Germans came gate crashing.
2. Serenity
(sci-fi, action)I eagerly accept any make believe universe that seamlessly unites spaceship battles with cannibal rednecks.
1. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
(detective, comedy)Is this Robert Downey Jr. clean and sober, or Robert Downey Jr. breaking into a neighbor's house to snort coke off the barrel of a gun? Either way, more of that, please.
