Lupe's Top 20 of 2008

20. Towelhead (drama)
Your pubescent daughter can learn a lot by watching this argument for female circumcision; just, for God's sake, don't watch it with her if you ever expect to look her in the eye again.

19. Burn After Reading (comedy)
The unofficial sequel to Life is Beautiful-- Life is Meaningless.  With all the suffering and ignominious death, the Coen brothers have become Buddhists without the enlightenment.

18. Valkyrie (drama)
I thought the Germans were supposed to be industrious, well disciplined, basically infallible.  But maybe that's only the ones that worked for Hitler.

17. Zack and Miri Make a Porno (comedy)
True love is so boring compared to porno, it makes me think it's all simulated.  Except Justin Long's man smooch, that was totally real.

16. The Wrestler (drama)
Dating a stripper doesn't change the fact that you oil yourself up, put on tights, and roll around on a mat with other guys.  No one tell Barton Fink the true theme of wrestling.

15. Quantum of Solace (action)
A bunch of green pansies are no substitute for SPECTRE.  I'm not quite clear on how their evil scheme to withhold water from Bolivian peasants is supposed to pay off, but it's fun to watch them get foiled.

14. Be Kind Rewind (comedy)
Jack Black is Magneto, amateur filmmaker.  If they can just remake the plots of other movies, can I simply plagiarize Leonard Maltin's reviews?

13. Gran Torino (drama)
Clint Eastwood is so coherent and levelheaded about human conflict, but he lacks the presence of mind to only sing in the shower.

12. The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (fantasy, adventure)
C.S. Lewis should have written a Reepicheep spinoff, where he, I dunno... writes letters about Christianity to a demonic bureaucrat.  Um, anyway, Reepicheep is badass.

11. Wall-E (animated)
A thinly veiled allegorical future world where Apple ascends to the heavens and Microsoft is consigned to the quite literal dustbin of history.  Though if a PC can keep plant life from dying in the vacuum of space, I guess they're not all bad.

10. Forgetting Sarah Marshall (comedy)
It might be hard, getting dumped by a celebrity.  But if I could date Mila Kunis on the rebound, I'm sure I'd get over it.

9. Doubt (drama)
I hate it that Meryl Streep keeps doing Oscar worthy stuff.  You're a good actress, we get it already!  Now go away and do more Mamma Mia! so I can forget about you.  Let someone else be nominated for once.

8. Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist (teen comedy)
This makes me nostalgic for that era of youthful callowness when you hang out in clubs all night with beautiful people and listen to music.  All of which I could have done, if only I was ever cool.

7. Pineapple Express (comedy)
No message here, stoners.  This is live action Bugs Bunny with Adult Swim sensibilities, which makes it not only brilliant in a Three Stooges kinda way, but Judd Apatow's best.

6. Iron Man (superhero action)
About time we got a capitalist superhero instead of the usual lame do gooders always sticking up for "social justice."  Get a job, Peter Parker!

5. Frost/Nixon (drama)
A heroically plucky media underdog has the hubris to take on the most devious and evil (naturally Republican) president since Rutherford B. Hayes.

4. In Bruges (crime)
Organized crime attracts a variety of personality types.  Some of them are interested in art, culture, and history, and some only like rascist midgets on drugs.

3. Tropic Thunder (comedy)
In Ben Stiller's Vietnam, it's hilarious when people step on land mines and pandas get slaughtered.  Robert Downey Jr transcends race in a way Barack Obama could only dream of.

2. Slumdog Millionaire (romance)
Good material for India's tourist board: thieves, beggars, unsanitary conditions, endless mountains of garbage and filth.  But even amongst all that, you can still be destined for true love, so that's nice.

1. The Dark Knight (superhero, crime)
The Joker might be gay for Batman, but he's way more interesting than Heath Ledger's Bareback Mountain cowboy.  Most awesome superhero movie ever, even edging out Superman 4: The Quest For Peace.

Strat's 20 of 2008

2008 despite a down box office in general was a great year for cinema. While the year is rather comedy-free, it does present quite a few memorable movies.

20. Doubt (drama)
Great acting of course from Streep and Hoffman. Surprise performance from Amy Adams.

19. Frost/Nixon (drama)
Political chess match between the wannabee reporter and the sly Dick Nixon. I like the documentary approach to reflecting on the story through interviews about the interviews.

18. The Spiderwick Chronicles (fantasy)
The only studio that actually writes for the adult and children's audiences at the same time is Pixar. Strangely enough, this movie manages to do what Pixar is so rare at doing and as a live action nonetheless.

17. American Teen (documentary)

Nanette Burstein (The Kid Stays in the Picture) brings us the documentary version of one of those 80s movies. Have today's teens become that bad at looking at each other? None of these kids seem to look at each other when talking. Hopefully not a harbinger of things to come.

16. Revolutionary Road (drama)
Kate and Leo do have great chemistry. Sam Mendes in the domestic setting is an ace.

15. Valkyrie (drama)
Solid movie. I certainly felt the weight of the gravity of trying to assassinate Hitler. Great tonal film.

14. Food, Inc. (documentary)
Yeah, there's a few gross moments, but this is about the food industry complex and not about how violent/unsanitary is the butchering a cow/chicken.

13. Wall-E (animation)
Pixar with a social message and a love story. Awww. They're just so darn good!

12. Hancock (action comedy)
I love casting Will Smith as a superhero with an attitude. There's just something so damn cool about it.

11. Where in the World is Osama Bin Laden? (documentary)
It manages to blend humor with a serious subject matter for many of us, while traveling through a part of the world we "Americans" usually shy away from in western media.

10. Tropic Thunder (comedy)
Pretty damn funny. Ben Stiller going full retard. Robert Downey Jr as a method actor turned black. The cast assembled is stellar.

9. Role Models (comedy)
Overlooked general comedy that I haven't laughed as hard at since Borat on initial viewing.

8. Burn After Reading (comedy)
Coen Bros love alternating between light and dark. And do it so damn well.

7. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (comedy/drama)
A movie that strikes a few chords close to my heart kind of like Big Fish a few years ago. Very Forrest Gumpish to no surprise given the same writer.

6. Changeling (drama)
Eastwood does simple so well. And Angelina Jolie seems to have been overlooked in a movie that could have easily have been pure melodrama, but never was.

5. Vicky Cristina Barcelona (comedy/drama)
Woody Allen is so much better in movies later in his life now when he's not in them. The film seems absurd in premise until you see the characters played out to absolute perfection.

4. The Dark Knight (action/drama)
Best superhero movie I've ever seen. Truly could have been 3 movies by itself between the boats on water, the Joker and the fall of Harvey Dent.

3. The Wrestler (drama)
Arronofsky redeems himself after his last movie. I was hooked from the moment that Mickey Rourke is driving back to his trailer listening to the radio and the movie cuts away at the chorus to "Don't Know What You've Got"

2. Waltz With Bashir (animated documentary)
I've never seen a movie that painted the horror of war in such a realistic manner via animation. Did I mention the people are actually telling their own stories? I am most impressed at the way it managed to humanize the people involved while telling the story of an Israeli soldier sent out to Beirut.

1. Slumdog Millionaire (drama)
What hasn't been said about this movie? A high-concept international movie that is well executed. It rightfully won a lot of awards and has a great soundtrack.

Lupe's Top 20 of 2007

20. The Diving Bell and the Butterfly (foreign, drama)
Locked in syndrome: the sad fate of some Bond villains.  At least those Gallic therapists are hot, so, you know, not a total loss.  Still, I can think of better ways to meet girls, even if you're a writer.

19. Sweeny Todd (musical, horror)
Surprisingly, Johnny Depp is not the most effeminate dude in this.  I'd feel a lot less creeped out by the lesbian love story if the butch one didn't have an Adam's apple.

18. Southland Tales (sci-fi)
Shame that only pieces of the story made it into this fascinating failure of a movie.  The whole thing feels only half finished.  But the omissions are worth it to get the Justin Timberlake song and dance routine.  Trust me, it works in context.

17. Mongol (foreign, historical epic)
The progenitor of eight percent of all Asians didn't even father his own supposed first born son.  I guess that explains his alpha male need to rape his way from Korea to Hungary.

16. Ratatouille (animated)
You can have rats working in the kitchen as long as you conveniently overlook that they pee on everything, including food.  That would put anyone off their baguette.

15. Michael Clayton (drama)
You can't even trust a lawyer to backstab someone without having them backstab you.  Also, maybe I'm just too unsophisticated, but the horses are meaningless to me.

14. Atonement (drama)
It's one thing to ruin someone's life.  On the other hand, if this girl has the hots for war, which is my theory, then she's got nothing to feel ashamed of.  Just show some gratitude to the troops there, honey.

13. Hot Fuzz (action comedy)
Not a movie about furries.  More about hoodies, and the danger of their unchecked delinquency on society.  Fortunately, murder is a solution to every problem, even if the problem is too much murder.

12. I'm Not There (drama)
At last, a musician's biopic that dances to its own tune.  It's like Fight Club, but with five Tyler Durdens, and no fight clubs.  And copious beatniks.

11. Superbad (comedy)
What can I add about a movie with this many penis jokes, except my surpise that it's not by Kevin Smith?  Guys, don't watch it with your girlfriend unless she's super cool.  Don't watch it with your parents at all.

10. Persepolis (foreign, animated, drama)
You feel sorry for this girl who grows up surrounded by bearded lunatics who will eventually go too far and force America to go all Alexander the Great on their asses and burn their country down.  I guess that's why it's called Persepolis (look it up on Wikipedia, o ignorant masses).

9. Charlie Wilson's War (drama)
How can dialogue be the greatest strength of a movie that feels like a mere summary of events?  At least if Forrest Gump here was facing a sex scandal, it wouldn't involve male interns.  This is lechery like God intended.

8. The Darjeeling Limited (drama)
Moving the action to India doesn't stop the Wes Anderson formula from starting to feel a little stale.  The characters are so damaged that Owen Wilson spends the movie with his head wrapped in bandages.  Could be funnier, but Anderson's still good enough to pull off the same old, same old.

7. Lust Caution (foreign, espionage thriller)
You always hurt the ones you love the most, unless of course they hurt you first.  So watch out for assassination attempts when you go shopping for an expensive ring.

6. Juno (comedy)
This is the wittier bastard love child of My So Called Life and, uh... My So Called Life.

5. Gone Baby Gone (crime, suspense)
You'd think a Casey Affleck movie would make the critics say "Burn Baby Burn", but no.  Because it's a crime movie, and crime pays.

4. Eastern Promises (crime)
Did the Russian mob face a lot of competition from Yakuts and Udmurts to corner the crime market in their frozen Siberian wasteland of a country?  Maybe that's why they're so cold blooded.

3. There Will Be Blood (drama)
"I drink your milkshake" sounds like a sequel to I Spit On Your Grave.  Thankfully, we've moved beyond the era of mom and pop oil drilling operations, so mishaps with rigs are a thing of the past (he deadpanned).

2. No Country for Old Men (crime)
After making three-fourths of a perfect movie, the Coen brothers of The Man Who Wasn't There take over.  The movie kind of meanders from there.

1. Sunshine (sci-fi)
I'm starved for good sci-fi films (as opposed to, say, effects driven 3-D orgies).  And Danny Boyle movies are always very cool.  At first the antagonist here is good old fashioned human incompetence, but soon the guy shows up who's awful sprightly for being burned half to death.