(drama)Your pubescent daughter can learn a lot by watching this argument for female circumcision; just, for God's sake, don't watch it with her if you ever expect to look her in the eye again.
19. Burn After Reading
(comedy)The unofficial sequel to Life is Beautiful
-- Life is Meaningless. With all the suffering and ignominious death, the Coen brothers have become Buddhists without the enlightenment.18. Valkyrie
(drama)I thought the Germans were supposed to be industrious, well disciplined, basically infallible. But maybe that's only the ones that worked for Hitler.
17. Zack and Miri Make a Porno
(comedy)True love is so boring compared to porno, it makes me think it's all simulated. Except Justin Long's man smooch, that was totally real.
16. The Wrestler
(drama)Dating a stripper doesn't change the fact that you oil yourself up, put on tights, and roll around on a mat with other guys. No one tell Barton Fink
the true theme of wrestling.15. Quantum of Solace
(action)A bunch of green pansies are no substitute for SPECTRE. I'm not quite clear on how their evil scheme to withhold water from Bolivian peasants is supposed to pay off, but it's fun to watch them get foiled.
14. Be Kind Rewind
(comedy)Jack Black is Magneto, amateur filmmaker. If they can just remake the plots of other movies, can I simply plagiarize Leonard Maltin's reviews?
13. Gran Torino
(drama)Clint Eastwood is so coherent and levelheaded about human conflict, but he lacks the presence of mind to only sing in the shower.
12. The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
(fantasy, adventure)C.S. Lewis should have written a Reepicheep spinoff, where he, I dunno... writes letters about Christianity to a demonic bureaucrat. Um, anyway, Reepicheep is badass.
11. Wall-E
(animated)A thinly veiled allegorical future world where Apple ascends to the heavens and Microsoft is consigned to the quite literal dustbin of history. Though if a PC can keep plant life from dying in the vacuum of space, I guess they're not all bad.
10. Forgetting Sarah Marshall
(comedy)It might be hard, getting dumped by a celebrity. But if I could date Mila Kunis on the rebound, I'm sure I'd get over it.
9. Doubt
(drama)I hate it that Meryl Streep keeps doing Oscar worthy stuff. You're a good actress, we get it already! Now go away and do more Mamma Mia!
so I can forget about you. Let someone else be nominated for once.8. Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist
(teen comedy)This makes me nostalgic for that era of youthful callowness when you hang out in clubs all night with beautiful people and listen to music. All of which I could have done, if only I was ever cool.
7. Pineapple Express
(comedy)No message here, stoners. This is live action Bugs Bunny with Adult Swim sensibilities, which makes it not only brilliant in a Three Stooges kinda way, but Judd Apatow's best.
6. Iron Man
(superhero action)About time we got a capitalist superhero instead of the usual lame do gooders always sticking up for "social justice." Get a job, Peter Parker!
5. Frost/Nixon
(drama)A heroically plucky media underdog has the hubris to take on the most devious and evil (naturally Republican) president since Rutherford B. Hayes.
4. In Bruges
(crime)Organized crime attracts a variety of personality types. Some of them are interested in art, culture, and history, and some only like rascist midgets on drugs.
3. Tropic Thunder
(comedy)In Ben Stiller's Vietnam, it's hilarious when people step on land mines and pandas get slaughtered. Robert Downey Jr transcends race in a way Barack Obama could only dream of.
2. Slumdog Millionaire
(romance)Good material for India's tourist board: thieves, beggars, unsanitary conditions, endless mountains of garbage and filth. But even amongst all that, you can still be destined for true love, so that's nice.
1. The Dark Knight
(superhero, crime)The Joker might be gay for Batman, but he's way more interesting than Heath Ledger's Bareback Mountain cowboy. Most awesome superhero movie ever, even edging out Superman 4: The Quest For Peace
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