Lupe's Top 20 of 2010

20. The Town (crime)
Ben Affleck should stay out of the tabloids and do more of this.  Normally, I'd be bored of the love story, but this one keeps my interest by giving Affleck a secret identity, like Batman.  If Batman robbed banks.

19. Get Low (drama)
Robert Duvall witnesses his own funeral, but the good townspeople of Geezerville stop short of burying him alive.  This ain't no horror movie, sad to say.

18. The Fighter (drama)
How can a movie be this watchable with so many douchebags on parade?  Chalk it up to the strength of the acting, I guess.  Never fear, sports movie fans, I got your montage right here.

17. The King's Speech (drama)
I can't overemphasize the importance of this character arc.  We needed the king to step up and do what Winston Churchill couldn't: give a good speech.  "We shall fight them on the beaches…"  Wait...

16. Toy Story 3 (animated, children's)
I eventually got too old for He-Man and Ninja Turtles, but you're never too old for Lots-O'-Huggin' Bear.  Excuse me while I suppress a shudder.  This film is a welcome condemnation of those freakish "bronies".  Grow up, weirdos!

15. Youth in Revolt (romantic comedy)
Evil Michael Cera is pretty awesome, though if you look closely enough, this is almost the exact story as Black Swan.  I'm not sure why the girl doesn't just knee him in the junk and never speak to him again.

14. Inception (science fiction)
The team of paramilitary dream invaders just squeezes past the suspension of disbelief.  My only real complaint is that you shouldn't make your whole movie pointless for the sake of a twist ending.  M Night Shyamalan directed the last five seconds and it ruined everything that came before.

13. The Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader (fantasy)
Not as good as the first Narnia movie, but better than the second, thanks to Eustace Scrubb and his mean spirited limericks.

12. Animal Kingdom (crime)
In The Departed, everyone gets shot willy-nilly until Marky Mark is the last man standing.  That looks kind of farcical compared to this movie.  That's the difference between random violence and deliberate violence.

11. Restrepo (documentary)
Thank God the cameras cut away before we see any Afghanis take a squat.  Seriously, they don't know how to use a commode.  Not making that up.  Instead, we get to see real live war, and it's totally mesmerizing.

10. Iron Man 2 (action)
Hopefully, Tony Stark can still be a drunk, narcissistic womanizer even after hooking up with Gwyneth Paltrow, since that's what made him so likable and fun to watch.  God bless Iron Man, God bless America.

9. Black Swan (drama)
It's not the pressure that drives Queen Amidala insane, it's her explosively pink bedroom.  Maybe that also explains why she's so into Mila Kunis.  Lord knows that's my excuse.

8. The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo (foreign, crime)
The Swedish version of this movie is a modern murder mystery with computer hacking, video surveillance, and soundproof rooms, and guess who's the culprit?  Spoiler alert: it's Hitler.

7. Let Me In (horror)
A wish fulfillment scenario I can appreciate.  If my best friend was a vampire, then everyone who was ever mean to me would be sorry.  That means you, Ralphie Parker.

6. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (comedy)
If you don't know Launchpad McQuack, this might not be the movie for you.  And if your life had a face, I would punch it in the balls.  The rest of you are cool.

5. Winter's Bone (drama)
The premise, of a teenage girl looking for her dad so their impoverished family doesn't get kicked off their land, sounds dull until you hear the phrase "redneck mafia."  Plus, she can really peel a squirrel.

4. 127 Hours (drama)
Surprisingly gripping for a movie about a dude trapped under a rock for two hours.  James Franco is so hardcore, he drinks his own pee.  Just like Kevin Costner in Waterworld, though maybe that's not the best comparison.

3. The Social Network (drama)
Mark Zuckerberg craps money.  He's all like, "Hey, lawyers.  See this?  Yeah, that's my middle finger."  I should invent something that makes me super rich and overthrows Arab dictators.

2. True Grit (western)
The years have not been kind to drunken cowboys.  He looks like if Kurt Cobain was still alive, and also a cowboy.  Kind of gritty.  Truly gritty.

1. Carlos (biopic, political thriller)
This film, the anti-Che, tells of the utterly engrossing true life criminal career of Ilich Ramirez Sanchez, aka Cobra Commander.  Watch all six hours and love it, or I'll send over Serpentor to eff you up.

20 Most Overrated Movies of the 2000s

Alright, so what do I mean by overrated? I mean movies that were box office smash hits that got decent reviews or flat out were gushed over by many critics.  Not being part of the normal criticssphere, we here at 20 Movie Bites are more than happy to take the gloves off about these films and help you avoid the mistake of watching one of these because you heard good things. Trust me, I heard good things too. You will likely notice a heavy dose of musicals on this list.

20. Elephant (drama)

Acclaimed by critics for its minimal style while attempting to deal with teens in a Columbine-like situation, this unmoving work by Gus Van Sant makes you want do something violent yourself. 

19. Spirited Away (animated)

Japanimation. Ughh. It's a niche genre of cinema and no matter what anime fans might try to persuade you, it's the most elegant of them. But it still sucks.

18. Girlfight (drama)

The movie that put Michelle Rodriguez and director Karyn Kusama on the map. Another critic darling about a female boxer. You'd think it would be interesting. Nope. Incredibly slow-paced and uninspiring.

17. Pollock (drama)

The pretentious art film in the bunch - literally. Hardly redeeming and while Jackson Pollock's work is worth studying, this movie isn't.

16. Ice Age (animated comedy)
It was so good they made 2 sequels. And seriously, could you really care any less about the characters?

15. Adaption (comedy/drama)
Unlike confessions, Charlie Kaufman takes a great approach to a movie about the writing experience. Unfortunately, the book he's adapting is still really boring.

14. Confessions of a Dangerous Mind (drama)
I didn't really care if the guy's story was true or not. All I did not was that it was a convoluted mess masquerading as a story.

13. Harry Potter and Half-Blood Prince (fantasy)
The book was actually well-written. What happened here is the subplot of the relationship became the main plot and the exploration of the villain, Voldemort became a footnote. How does that happen? The title of the movie/book is about him!

12. Dreamgirls (musical)
You'd have to wonder if musicals are an excuse to not tell an interesting story or fresh take on an old tale. Dreamgirls seems to recycle every musical cliché out there.

11. Dancer in the Dark (musical)
Von Trier takes the Dogmé 95 movement to its conclusion here. It seems that he tries to show in this film how many cuts you can possibly have in a film. I've never felt a movie was so overcut as this and it is distracting. Bjork seems okay in it, but again - it's a musical.

10. The Reader (drama)
Another movie with the Oscar nominee pedigree - WWII setting, woman with a secret, coming of age boy and European sexuality. It falters under the weight of all the movie clichés that it lives off of.


9. Brokeback Mountain (drama)
Is it well acted? Yes. Is it that moving? Not any more than any other dramatic love story. It just happens to be about a gay love story. Perhaps it's more because it falls on the sword of the joke about indie films that Trey Parker and Matt Stone concocted years before - gay cowboys (without the pudding).

8. Sweeney Todd (musical)
Dear Mr. Burton,
While I admire your visual panache, your choice of stories leaves much to be desired. What you need is a producer to keep you selecting good projects. This is not one of them, despite the hype.



7. A Beautiful Mind (drama)
Funny that a movie about mathematics is a paint-by-the-numbers type of film. Everything is here that should be, but very non-compelling and heavy handed fashion.



6. Sideways (comedy/drama)
There seem to be a lot of these on the list. Movies that are not sure how to balance laughter and seriousness. In all seriousness, it's hard to relate to the main characters as no one is likeable and the situations are sort of a twisted funny. Yes, it might be real life. No, it's not entertaining.

5. Star Wars: Episode 3 - Revenge of the Sith
Alright George Lucas, third time is the charm, right? He wrecked a story for a generation or two of fans with the first 2 prequels, could he do it again? Yes. The movie didn't have to be surprising, it just had to be well acted and well executed. For all the hope of salvaging the Star Wars franchise, it did nothing for it.



4. Mystic River (drama)
When Mr. Eastwood rolls a movie into theaters, I'll watch it every time. Ocassionally he goofs. And when he goofs it's big. But don't tell the Academy that. It was nominated for Best Picture despite it's lackadaisical, wandering structure



3. The Pianist (drama)
There's a reason that this movie was dismissed initially by the public - it's not terribly interesting. And Adrian Brody rubs me the wrong way.  The douche-baggy wrong way. I for one am content to let Polanski's film productivity stay down while he stays in Europe.

2. Gran Torino (drama)
I just can't get over how cheesy the dialogue is in this film. It's hard to watch Clint play a facsimile of Dirty Harry here. I don't think I've ever watched a major dramatic movie before and ever felt that it was "acted" as this.

1. Chicago (musical)
Just because you channel your inner Bob Fosse and win best picture, doesn't mean you are any good. The most forgettable Best Picture winner of the decade.