20. The Master (drama)
Too bad the movie is told from Johnny Cash's point of view, he's the least interesting and most predictable character here. And he has no clue how to be a good cultist, not like this: "I'm covered in the dust of the Leader! He favors me!" "I am even dustier, dustier than thou!"
19. Beasts of the Southern Wild (drama)
You can tell it's not a documentary, despite the title, because the aurochs was a bovine, not a pig. Also because little girls aren't hush puppies (unless maybe you're Ted Bundy).
18. Cosmopolis (drama)
This is what the Foo Fighters' White Limo video would be like if it were written and directed by sterile robot brains only programmed to write one character.
17. The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (adventure)
I think what this movie really needed was more songs. I'm inferring that one of Radagast's bunnies was named Bugs, from what we see of their altercations with the Yosemite Orcs. Definitely a lot of epic stuff left on the cutting room floor here. It should have been a quadrilogy.
16. Searching For Sugar Man (documentary)
You missed the zeitgeist, Rodriguez. You'd have been huge as a hair metal band (for about five minutes). Luckily for you, the sixties was still going on in South Africa. Marilyn Manson's going to scare the hell out of them, one of these days.
15. Hitchcock (drama)
Hannibal Lector's eaten one too many livers with fava beans and a nice chianti. This softer, yet still excitable psycho lets us know that behind every weird auteur there's a woman taking credit for his genius.
14. Compliance (drama)
The true story of a textbook Lewinsky, a dubious authority figure taking advantage of a malleable young girl. This would never have happened at a McDonalds run by Ron Paul. That dude missed his calling.
13. Silver Linings Playbook (drama)
I saw this movie back when it was called Garden State. Hey, I'm emotionally damaged, too (as should be completely obvious from my film reviews). Where's my manic pixie dreamgirl?
12. Les Miserables (musical/drama)
Chill, Anne Hathaway, jeez. Some ladies aspire to prostitute themselves. They're called gold diggers. At least you found a nice sugar daddy for your little girl, if I'm interpreting this movie correctly.
11. Cabin in the Woods (horror)
So if you ever suspected there was a reason for the endless, samey iterations of boring, repetitive slasher films, whether the killer is a Jason, a Freddy, an S&M horror advertised as being from the mind of Clive Barker, or even Aquaman, it's because Quetzalcoatl is a movie producer, and Quetzalcoatl has notes.
10. Killer Joe (crime)
Killer Joe’s proposal is so special, I’m sure he won’t beat his future bride just because she seems stoned to a Carrie Fisher-like degree, then make her eat a bloody chicken leg like he did his future stepmother-in-law. Ain’t it a shame to beat your wife on a Sunday?
9. Looper (action)
A one party state in which men vastly outnumber women… China, it's the place to be in the future! Anyway, these filmmakers must have thought time travel was lame, because they threw in some pointless telekinesis to their movie as well.
8. Skyfall (action)
Between the Jensen Aston Martin or whatever, and going back to M’s original office from the 60’s complete with secretary Miss Moneypenny, we’ve circled back in time. Though maybe this was a new Austin Powers installment where Mike Myers got a little dark, even for a guy who plays a character named Dr. Evil. Seriously, though, who upholsters a door?
7. Wreck-It Ralph (animated/family)
Some day, movie watchers will look back on a time when kids went to arcades to play video games as totally anachronistic. And that day came like twenty years ago.
6. The Avengers (action)
This is the most fun superheroes had all year. Loki's a great villain who didn't have to steal his master plan from Magneto (looking at you, Lizard), plus you can understand words coming out of his mouth (Bane should get a job voicing Mushmouth for Bill Cosby).
5. Seven Psychopaths (drama/crime)
You never know, this might have been another Kurosawa remake like The Magnificent Seven, or Seven Faces of Dr. Lao, or Seven Minutes in Heaven, or Se7en. Some of those strayed from the source material, but I think I have that right. Instead, it has the psycho bunny from Monty Python. “Go on, Bors, chop his head off.” Don’t do it, Bors. This will not end well.
4. Lincoln (historical drama)
Strat hates Lincoln. He's all like, "States rights, bitches! I'ma John Wilkes Booth this mofo!" Me, I got nothin but love for Lincoln. The best is putting on a stovepipe hat when you tower over everyone else already. Hat power!
3. Moonrise Kingdom (drama)
There are those of you who will understand if I just say, it's Wes Anderson. I have a soft spot for this movie because it’s exactly how I remember the Boy Scouts. I also went on campouts, learned to tie knots, purchased snake bite kits from the trading post, was struck by lightning, and got married when I was twelve years old.
2. Argo (drama/suspense)
The Persians have graduated from Zack Snyder's slow/fast motion to Spielbergian time stretching, and from Xerxes' army of perverts to Khomenei's much scarier and more believable army of perverts.
1. Zero Dark Thirty (drama)
After the long awaited Point Break 2, Kathryn Bigelow might eventually make a biopic about Gadhafi's final days, so hold your breath for that bit where they sodomize him with a bayonet. For now, settle for being sodomized by slow moving bureaucracy as Little "Red Hair, not Red Tape" Riding Hood mobilizes Team America to take out OG bin Laden.
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Sunday, December 28, 2014
Strat's 20 of 2013
2013 was a year of starts and stops. At one point it looked as if there would hardly be films I would dare recommend to having a solid grouping within a few months. Considering I've been making these lists for awhile, it shouldn't have come as that big a surprise that the end of the year would see the most number of these films released. What was surprising is the list of notables not on here including "All is Lost", "Elysium", Don Jon, and "Mud".
20. The World's End (comedy/adventure)
I'm sure many will disagree, but this is my favorite of Edgar Wright's Cornetto trilogy. If you've seen the others, you know what to expect tone wise, but you don't need to have in order to follow the film.
19. We're the Millers (comedy)
Sure it's formulaic. But the chemistry between the cast pulls out one of the most surprisingly funny movies of the year.
18. Blackfish (documentary)
If one movie ever provokes you to think twice before accepting at face value the treatment of wild animals in captivity, this will. This unflinching documentary gets right into the grit of life for the orcas which people go to see every day around the world.
17. Dirty Wars (documentary)
At this point, there's probably not much anyone can show you about the American system of covert engagement with "targets" around the world. What this doc does is take all the puzzle pieces and put them together in a rather engaging and provocative manner.
16. Spring Breakers (drama/thriller)
What if Natural Born Killers were sexy college coeds on spring break that then met a Florida gangster? Yeah. It's a ride.
15. 12 Years a Slave (drama)
Quite possibly one of the most difficult movies to watch on the year. Be warned. It's unflinching and brutal. I'm sure by the title you can tell why.
14. The Lunchbox (foreign comedy)
An incredibly rich and fascinating film that revolves entirely around, you guessed it, a lunchbox. While it is very current with its depiction of life in Mumbai, India, director Ritish Batra manages to create a rich tableau of characters that never ceases to entertain or fascinate.
13. Captain Phillips (drama)
This is a film that if it had a different director at the helm and an actor other than Tom Hanks, the realism and genuine honesty of this story wouldn't resonate. Tom Hanks' greatest acting gift is making you forget its Tom Hanks just as Paul Greengrass makes sure every moment is sincere.
12. Wadjda (foreign drama)
The first feature film ever to come out of the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, and it is directed by a woman. This remarkable glimpse into the world of a little girl growing up in a strongly oppressed world looking to own a bike.
11. Disconnect (drama)
This film likely flies under more radars of films for the year, but is much more important than many other films about contemporary American culture as it explores our virtual "connectedness" today through compelling and someone interconnected stories.
10. Omar (foreign drama)
This is a tense, rough glimpse into the world of a Palestinian freedom fighter/terrorist as he struggles to choose between saving himself or the people around him.
9. The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (comedy/drama)
This is one of those uplifting movies that manages to tightrope that fine line between cheesiness and inspirational art. And if you haven't in awhile, use your passport.
8. The Broken Circle Breakdown (foreign drama)
A gut-wrenching sad foreign film about a country western band's collapse as it is held together by the relationship of a mother, father and dying daughter.
7. The Dallas Buyers Club (drama)
You'll spend half the movie thinking "Is that really Jared Leto and Matthew McConaughey? Then the rest of it, enthralled in the ethics struggle between them and the politicians and drug companies fight.
6. Inside Llewyn Davis (comedy/drama)
It's hard not to like this movie about a dislikable fellow on his quest. It's a movie without your typical 3 act structure that is cleverly written, but never feels like it's too clever.
5. Cutie and the Boxer (documentary)
Can't say it's not somehow personal to watch a film about the struggles of being an artist in a big city. What makes this so wonderful is the love and desire that the artistic couple in this film feel for each other through it all.
4. Nebraska (comedy/drama)
It's sort of a trip through a portal into old mid-west Americana and looking at all of it 50 years later.
3. Gravity (sci-fi/drama)
It's hard to appreciate the movie in 2D the way you can in 3D. The awesomeness of the vacuum of space is both terrifying and magical. Thankfully this film weaves a balance of heart and story in such a way that keeps it heavy in your mind and soul.
2. The Square (documentary)
A glimpse into the life of the various factions within the Egyptian populace that took to the streets during the 2011 Arab Spring protests and the aftermath. The film captures what feels like a 360 degree view of the people involved.
1. Her (sci-fi romantic comedy)
One of the most lovely, touching and absolutely moving films in a long time. It's incredibly personal about how impersonal Her is.
20. The World's End (comedy/adventure)
I'm sure many will disagree, but this is my favorite of Edgar Wright's Cornetto trilogy. If you've seen the others, you know what to expect tone wise, but you don't need to have in order to follow the film.
Sure it's formulaic. But the chemistry between the cast pulls out one of the most surprisingly funny movies of the year.
18. Blackfish (documentary)
If one movie ever provokes you to think twice before accepting at face value the treatment of wild animals in captivity, this will. This unflinching documentary gets right into the grit of life for the orcas which people go to see every day around the world.
17. Dirty Wars (documentary)
At this point, there's probably not much anyone can show you about the American system of covert engagement with "targets" around the world. What this doc does is take all the puzzle pieces and put them together in a rather engaging and provocative manner.
16. Spring Breakers (drama/thriller)
What if Natural Born Killers were sexy college coeds on spring break that then met a Florida gangster? Yeah. It's a ride.
Quite possibly one of the most difficult movies to watch on the year. Be warned. It's unflinching and brutal. I'm sure by the title you can tell why.
14. The Lunchbox (foreign comedy)
An incredibly rich and fascinating film that revolves entirely around, you guessed it, a lunchbox. While it is very current with its depiction of life in Mumbai, India, director Ritish Batra manages to create a rich tableau of characters that never ceases to entertain or fascinate.
13. Captain Phillips (drama)
This is a film that if it had a different director at the helm and an actor other than Tom Hanks, the realism and genuine honesty of this story wouldn't resonate. Tom Hanks' greatest acting gift is making you forget its Tom Hanks just as Paul Greengrass makes sure every moment is sincere.
12. Wadjda (foreign drama)
The first feature film ever to come out of the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, and it is directed by a woman. This remarkable glimpse into the world of a little girl growing up in a strongly oppressed world looking to own a bike.
11. Disconnect (drama)
This film likely flies under more radars of films for the year, but is much more important than many other films about contemporary American culture as it explores our virtual "connectedness" today through compelling and someone interconnected stories.
10. Omar (foreign drama)
This is a tense, rough glimpse into the world of a Palestinian freedom fighter/terrorist as he struggles to choose between saving himself or the people around him.
9. The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (comedy/drama)
This is one of those uplifting movies that manages to tightrope that fine line between cheesiness and inspirational art. And if you haven't in awhile, use your passport.
8. The Broken Circle Breakdown (foreign drama)
A gut-wrenching sad foreign film about a country western band's collapse as it is held together by the relationship of a mother, father and dying daughter.
7. The Dallas Buyers Club (drama)
You'll spend half the movie thinking "Is that really Jared Leto and Matthew McConaughey? Then the rest of it, enthralled in the ethics struggle between them and the politicians and drug companies fight.
6. Inside Llewyn Davis (comedy/drama)
It's hard not to like this movie about a dislikable fellow on his quest. It's a movie without your typical 3 act structure that is cleverly written, but never feels like it's too clever.
5. Cutie and the Boxer (documentary)
Can't say it's not somehow personal to watch a film about the struggles of being an artist in a big city. What makes this so wonderful is the love and desire that the artistic couple in this film feel for each other through it all.
4. Nebraska (comedy/drama)
It's sort of a trip through a portal into old mid-west Americana and looking at all of it 50 years later.
3. Gravity (sci-fi/drama)
It's hard to appreciate the movie in 2D the way you can in 3D. The awesomeness of the vacuum of space is both terrifying and magical. Thankfully this film weaves a balance of heart and story in such a way that keeps it heavy in your mind and soul.
2. The Square (documentary)
A glimpse into the life of the various factions within the Egyptian populace that took to the streets during the 2011 Arab Spring protests and the aftermath. The film captures what feels like a 360 degree view of the people involved.
1. Her (sci-fi romantic comedy)
One of the most lovely, touching and absolutely moving films in a long time. It's incredibly personal about how impersonal Her is.
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