20. The Master (drama)
Too bad the movie is told from Johnny Cash's point of view, he's the least interesting and most predictable character here. And he has no clue how to be a good cultist, not like this: "I'm covered in the dust of the Leader! He favors me!" "I am even dustier, dustier than thou!"
19. Beasts of the Southern Wild (drama)
You can tell it's not a documentary, despite the title, because the aurochs was a bovine, not a pig. Also because little girls aren't hush puppies (unless maybe you're Ted Bundy).
18. Cosmopolis (drama)
This is what the Foo Fighters' White Limo video would be like if it were written and directed by sterile robot brains only programmed to write one character.
17. The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (adventure)
I think what this movie really needed was more songs. I'm inferring that one of Radagast's bunnies was named Bugs, from what we see of their altercations with the Yosemite Orcs. Definitely a lot of epic stuff left on the cutting room floor here. It should have been a quadrilogy.
16. Searching For Sugar Man (documentary)
You missed the zeitgeist, Rodriguez. You'd have been huge as a hair metal band (for about five minutes). Luckily for you, the sixties was still going on in South Africa. Marilyn Manson's going to scare the hell out of them, one of these days.
15. Hitchcock (drama)
Hannibal Lector's eaten one too many livers with fava beans and a nice chianti. This softer, yet still excitable psycho lets us know that behind every weird auteur there's a woman taking credit for his genius.
14. Compliance (drama)
The true story of a textbook Lewinsky, a dubious authority figure taking advantage of a malleable young girl. This would never have happened at a McDonalds run by Ron Paul. That dude missed his calling.
13. Silver Linings Playbook (drama)
I saw this movie back when it was called Garden State. Hey, I'm emotionally damaged, too (as should be completely obvious from my film reviews). Where's my manic pixie dreamgirl?
12. Les Miserables (musical/drama)
Chill, Anne Hathaway, jeez. Some ladies aspire to prostitute themselves. They're called gold diggers. At least you found a nice sugar daddy for your little girl, if I'm interpreting this movie correctly.
11. Cabin in the Woods (horror)
So if you ever suspected there was a reason for the endless, samey iterations of boring, repetitive slasher films, whether the killer is a Jason, a Freddy, an S&M horror advertised as being from the mind of Clive Barker, or even Aquaman, it's because Quetzalcoatl is a movie producer, and Quetzalcoatl has notes.
10. Killer Joe (crime)
Killer Joe’s proposal is so special, I’m sure he won’t beat his future bride just because she seems stoned to a Carrie Fisher-like degree, then make her eat a bloody chicken leg like he did his future stepmother-in-law. Ain’t it a shame to beat your wife on a Sunday?
9. Looper (action)
A one party state in which men vastly outnumber women… China, it's the place to be in the future! Anyway, these filmmakers must have thought time travel was lame, because they threw in some pointless telekinesis to their movie as well.
8. Skyfall (action)
Between the Jensen Aston Martin or whatever, and going back to M’s original office from the 60’s complete with secretary Miss Moneypenny, we’ve circled back in time. Though maybe this was a new Austin Powers installment where Mike Myers got a little dark, even for a guy who plays a character named Dr. Evil. Seriously, though, who upholsters a door?
7. Wreck-It Ralph (animated/family)
Some day, movie watchers will look back on a time when kids went to arcades to play video games as totally anachronistic. And that day came like twenty years ago.
6. The Avengers (action)
This is the most fun superheroes had all year. Loki's a great villain who didn't have to steal his master plan from Magneto (looking at you, Lizard), plus you can understand words coming out of his mouth (Bane should get a job voicing Mushmouth for Bill Cosby).
5. Seven Psychopaths (drama/crime)
You never know, this might have been another Kurosawa remake like The Magnificent Seven, or Seven Faces of Dr. Lao, or Seven Minutes in Heaven, or Se7en. Some of those strayed from the source material, but I think I have that right. Instead, it has the psycho bunny from Monty Python. “Go on, Bors, chop his head off.” Don’t do it, Bors. This will not end well.
4. Lincoln (historical drama)
Strat hates Lincoln. He's all like, "States rights, bitches! I'ma John Wilkes Booth this mofo!" Me, I got nothin but love for Lincoln. The best is putting on a stovepipe hat when you tower over everyone else already. Hat power!
3. Moonrise Kingdom (drama)
There are those of you who will understand if I just say, it's Wes Anderson. I have a soft spot for this movie because it’s exactly how I remember the Boy Scouts. I also went on campouts, learned to tie knots, purchased snake bite kits from the trading post, was struck by lightning, and got married when I was twelve years old.
2. Argo (drama/suspense)
The Persians have graduated from Zack Snyder's slow/fast motion to Spielbergian time stretching, and from Xerxes' army of perverts to Khomenei's much scarier and more believable army of perverts.
1. Zero Dark Thirty (drama)
After the long awaited Point Break 2, Kathryn Bigelow might eventually make a biopic about Gadhafi's final days, so hold your breath for that bit where they sodomize him with a bayonet. For now, settle for being sodomized by slow moving bureaucracy as Little "Red Hair, not Red Tape" Riding Hood mobilizes Team America to take out OG bin Laden.
Showing posts with label 2012. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 2012. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Saturday, November 30, 2013
Strat's 20 of 2012
2012 mirrored 1999 in some rather interesting ways - it started off slow and picked up the pace and highly anticipated second trilogies by well-respected filmmakers meet with good box office, but disappointing fan reactions. That said, putting the 2012 list together was an exercise in deciding what got left off. Notable films that didn't make it were Amour, Magic Mike, The Sessions and Ted (go ahead and laugh).
20. Amazing Spider-Man (action)
I was ready to write this off as re-boot with no business being made. Then I realized Andrew Garfield managed to find a portrayal of Peter Parker that is both vulnerable and bold.
19. Frances Ha (drama)
This is a film that I was not exactly looking for as a "ooh I have to see it" from the ads or the recommends on Netflix. That said, it's a great film. An honest film about friendships and love and growing up in your late 20s.
18. Skyfall (action drama)
What happens when someone decides to make one of the most visual Bond films ever? What happens when you actually think Bond could be broken or that he really exists? You get awesomeness.
17. Wreck-It Ralph (animated comedy)
It's about time that someone brought the video game world to the big screen without trying to make it about the video games. The filmmakers here triumphantly went for substance much deeper than the 8-bit pixels.
16. Looper (sci-fi)
It's not often than you see a single, but complex story executed with such precision and depth that it is a moving and exciting experience. Kudos to getting this story made.
15. Django Unchained (western)
The star of this film isn't Jamie Foxx or Leonardo DiCaprio. That honor is bestowed to Tarantino for delivery another sharp, clever, written performance to an otherwise tired genre.
14. Hitchcock (drama)
It only makes sense that the "Master of Suspense" himself was a creepy, strange fellow. It's part bio pic, part horror film. All excellent.
13. The Master (drama)
No, this movie has NOTHING to do with Scientology. What is Scientology you say? Watch this film. For once, a film that shows the genesis of how a spiritual following starts.
12. Cloud Atlas (sci-fi)
One of the most intriguing films I've seen in years. Not to mention actors in roles you would not ever imagine. I mean Halle Berry as a man? Come on. It's part Matrix, part Tree of Life.
11. Brave (animated adventure)
I would never have watched it based on the trailers, but the film shows it's much better than that. With fantasy and fun suitable for small children and mature themes for the older audience.
10. Safety Not Guaranteed (sci-fi/comedy)
This is one of the more touching and funny films of the year. Aubrey Plaza's dry delivery mixes perfectly with the absurdity of her time traveling partner.
9. End of Watch (drama/thriller)
The most intense, thrilling cop film I've seen since Training Day. With the decision to intermix "found footage" with traditional cinema techniques, it takes on a fresh vibrant life of it's own.
8. Indie Game: The Movie (documentary)
It might be about the independent video game developer world, but it's difficult to not see connections with their struggles and that of anyone else in the creative side of the entertainment industry.
7. Flight (drama)
Yes, it's a movie about addiction. Yes, it's about a crazy airline crash. But unlike an actual flight, this film is about the journey much more than the destination.
6. Ruby Sparks (comedy/drama)
One of the sweetest and definitely darkest romantic comedy I've ever seen. There are a lot of opportunities for this movie to have taken a well worn direction, but it never ceases to find something interesting and insightful.
5. To Rome With Love (comedy)
Just when people were starting to write off Woody, he churns out 3 great movies in 5 years. As daring as some of his early work was at the time, it's become evident that while not that daring anymore he has an innate ability to do what many filmmakers fail to recall - tell an good story.
4. 21 Jump Street (action/comedy)
This movie jumped up and surprised me. I really had not considered how much the high school culture itself has changed in the last 10 years until I saw the dots connected in this surprising remake of the old TV series.
3. Searching For Sugarman (documentary)
If you don't know what this movie is about, don't look it up. It will make the movie THAT much more surprising and moving. Not that it needs much help. Certainly one of the most uplifting movies that you'll ever see - and it's a true story!
2. Silver Linings Playbook (comedy/drama)
Just great writing and great acting just chewing through scenes; always taking the unconventional road. Up and down as much as someone with bi-polar. Good thing that's part of the story.
1. Argo (drama)
It's your classic historical drama. Like Flight, it's a story that is about the journey rather than the destination. What makes this that much better is that the story is so insane, it has to be true. Fortunately it is.
20. Amazing Spider-Man (action)
I was ready to write this off as re-boot with no business being made. Then I realized Andrew Garfield managed to find a portrayal of Peter Parker that is both vulnerable and bold.
19. Frances Ha (drama)
This is a film that I was not exactly looking for as a "ooh I have to see it" from the ads or the recommends on Netflix. That said, it's a great film. An honest film about friendships and love and growing up in your late 20s.
18. Skyfall (action drama)
What happens when someone decides to make one of the most visual Bond films ever? What happens when you actually think Bond could be broken or that he really exists? You get awesomeness.
17. Wreck-It Ralph (animated comedy)
It's about time that someone brought the video game world to the big screen without trying to make it about the video games. The filmmakers here triumphantly went for substance much deeper than the 8-bit pixels.
16. Looper (sci-fi)
It's not often than you see a single, but complex story executed with such precision and depth that it is a moving and exciting experience. Kudos to getting this story made.
15. Django Unchained (western)
The star of this film isn't Jamie Foxx or Leonardo DiCaprio. That honor is bestowed to Tarantino for delivery another sharp, clever, written performance to an otherwise tired genre.
14. Hitchcock (drama)
It only makes sense that the "Master of Suspense" himself was a creepy, strange fellow. It's part bio pic, part horror film. All excellent.
13. The Master (drama)
No, this movie has NOTHING to do with Scientology. What is Scientology you say? Watch this film. For once, a film that shows the genesis of how a spiritual following starts.
12. Cloud Atlas (sci-fi)
One of the most intriguing films I've seen in years. Not to mention actors in roles you would not ever imagine. I mean Halle Berry as a man? Come on. It's part Matrix, part Tree of Life.
11. Brave (animated adventure)
I would never have watched it based on the trailers, but the film shows it's much better than that. With fantasy and fun suitable for small children and mature themes for the older audience.
10. Safety Not Guaranteed (sci-fi/comedy)
This is one of the more touching and funny films of the year. Aubrey Plaza's dry delivery mixes perfectly with the absurdity of her time traveling partner.
9. End of Watch (drama/thriller)
The most intense, thrilling cop film I've seen since Training Day. With the decision to intermix "found footage" with traditional cinema techniques, it takes on a fresh vibrant life of it's own.
8. Indie Game: The Movie (documentary)
It might be about the independent video game developer world, but it's difficult to not see connections with their struggles and that of anyone else in the creative side of the entertainment industry.
7. Flight (drama)
Yes, it's a movie about addiction. Yes, it's about a crazy airline crash. But unlike an actual flight, this film is about the journey much more than the destination.
6. Ruby Sparks (comedy/drama)
One of the sweetest and definitely darkest romantic comedy I've ever seen. There are a lot of opportunities for this movie to have taken a well worn direction, but it never ceases to find something interesting and insightful.
5. To Rome With Love (comedy)
Just when people were starting to write off Woody, he churns out 3 great movies in 5 years. As daring as some of his early work was at the time, it's become evident that while not that daring anymore he has an innate ability to do what many filmmakers fail to recall - tell an good story.
4. 21 Jump Street (action/comedy)
This movie jumped up and surprised me. I really had not considered how much the high school culture itself has changed in the last 10 years until I saw the dots connected in this surprising remake of the old TV series.
3. Searching For Sugarman (documentary)
If you don't know what this movie is about, don't look it up. It will make the movie THAT much more surprising and moving. Not that it needs much help. Certainly one of the most uplifting movies that you'll ever see - and it's a true story!
2. Silver Linings Playbook (comedy/drama)
Just great writing and great acting just chewing through scenes; always taking the unconventional road. Up and down as much as someone with bi-polar. Good thing that's part of the story.
1. Argo (drama)
It's your classic historical drama. Like Flight, it's a story that is about the journey rather than the destination. What makes this that much better is that the story is so insane, it has to be true. Fortunately it is.
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