Lupe's Top 20 of 2004

20. Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle (comedy)
Stoners are so funny.  I wonder if this would work as well if they were on heroin instead of weed?

19. Kinsey (drama)
I don't care how much you study it, there's not really more than one sex position... right?  I mean, how would you... it only...  Darkman's book was fiction, wasn't it?  Hey, if I'm missing something, feel free to elaborate in the comments section.  Please.

18. The Ladykillers (comedy)
This is like watching Ocean's 11 if all the characters were idiots.  Yeah, that about sums it up.

17. Hellboy (action)
If you were to describe Raiders of the Lost Ark as "archaeologist fights Nazis for the Ark of the Covenant," it would sound kind of crap.  In this case, it's "demon faces choice between love life and pet cats as Nazis summon space octopus."  It's no Raiders, but it's still pretty good.

16. Million Dollar Baby (drama)
I'm like a fair weather friend, totally with this girl on her way to the top, but not so interested after that.  I prefer Dirty Harry's approach.  Euthanasia, pie.

15. Team America: World Police (animated, comedy)
The Germans, frightened of their own success, adopted militant pacifism over militant nationalism.  The Russians wasted away in soup lines for free Vodka rather than work for a living.  The Japanese embraced their role as the global community's nerdy math tutor.  The British kept exporting tea and cricket to all their conquests until their whole empire sucked as much as the home isles.  The Chinese hive mind is incapable of competitive or creative thinking.  Ergo:  America.  F*** yeah.

14. Collateral (thriller)
The real collateral damage would have come if Travis Bickle had been driving the cab instead of Jamie Foxx.  Chauffeuring an assassin around could be considered a learning experience for someone like that.

13. Shaun of the Dead (horror comedy)
Zombies are so earnest in their need for human flesh, like an animal begging for food.  Not an analogy.  Watch this movie and laugh like a sociopath in the face of blood and horror.

12. The Passion of the Christ (drama)
So, it's not foreign, but it is subtitled.  Those of you who don't like to read a movie while you're watching it might be in for some difficulty, since you will probably be hiding your eyes from all the flayed skin and whatnot.

11. Hotel Rwanda (drama)
Oh, sure, if you want a failed state with plenty of pointless violence, set your movie in Africa.  Maybe Hotel Rwanda, Blood Diamond, and Black Hawk Down could start a club for condescending neocolonialists.  ...Unless they're all based on actual events.  Um, no wonder it's good?

10. The Incredibles (animated)
At last, a movie brave enough to warn children that once they get married and have kids of their own, it's all downhill.  It's volcano lairs and giant robots and insurance salesmen, and no one wants that.

9. Garden State (comedy)
No prescription drug stupor can withstand the charisma of Queen Amidala's girl next door cuteness.  She cleans up nice without all the makeup.

8. Spider-Man 2 (action)
The bad guy's trenchcoat looks seriously better on film than the first movie's plastic clown suit.  I guess Sam Raimi lived and learned.  Anyway, the trenchcoat hides his wiggling, tentacular, loathesome appendages that cause panic and mayhem every time he unleashes them.  Who says a superhero movie can't have subtext?

7. Mean Girls (comedy)
I know this isn't a horror movie, but it's still the scariest thing I've ever seen.  Kids don't have to be stranded on an island to go all Lord of the Flies.

6. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (adventure)
Finally, a Potter movie that doesn't look like a school play caught on some enthusiastic parent's camcorder.  Gary Oldman reprises his role from JFK as patsy Lee Harvey Sirius Black, who apparently can't get a break even in Hell.

5. Kill Bill vol. 2 (action)
The only character that goes 2-0 against kung fu Uma is the redneck who lives in a trailer and brushes his teeth with beer.  Plus, before his shameful death (in the movie), David Carradine espouses his "Superman is a dick" theory.

4. Spartan (thriller)
The President in this movie must have sold his soul to get elected because his handlers are about as mercenary as Mephistopheles.  I think they all double majored in political science and murder.

3. The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (comedy)
Getting hijacked by pirates has never looked so fun.  Who needs Navy SEALs when you've got Bill Murray and a Brazilian David Bowie?

2. Howl's Moving Castle (animated, adventure)
A magical love story between a massive, sweaty bird and an old crone.  Supporting characters include an asthmatic dog, a fireplace, and a piece of wood.  Miraculously, the internal logic holds together.

1. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (romance)
Sometimes Charlie Kaufman is good, and sometimes he has his whole head up his own butthole.  Good thing this is the former.  I guess romance is never more interesting than when you're trying not to forget it.

Strat's 20 of 2004

2004 was a year marred with controversy from both the right and left. I suppose it's also not surprising that it was an election year. Looking at it, this is probably one of the most diverse lists of all. The most solid since 2001 when movies like "Friday Night Lights", "I, Robot" and "Hellboy", "Farenheit 9/11" can't cut it.

20. Starsky and Hutch (comedy)

Remake of the 70s show is not without its homages. Nor is without great chemistry between Owen Wilson and Ben Stiller - starring in the same movie together for the gazzillionth time. Not a bad thing at all.

19. Van Helsing (action)

Probably the only movie from Stephen Sommers that I truly enjoy. What's not to like about seeing all of your favorite classical horror beasts in one tale. The visual effects are top notch and Hugh Jackman and Kate Beckinsale are not bad to look at.

18. Control Room (documentary)

A great look at the logic/illogic of what makes something a hard news story in the US versus the Middle East.

17. Collateral (action)

A night following an assassin from the view of the unwilling sidekick. Michael Mann pairs Tom Cruise and Jamie Foxx in this romp through the underbelly of the world of the modern lone hitman.

16. The Aviator (drama)

Scorsese and DiCaprio team up for a Bio pic movie following the eccentric and great risk-taking pioneer of aviation, Howard Hughes. Probably the first movie where Leo is clearly playing both a character with depth and an adult.

15. Maria Full of Grace (foreign drama)

Ever wondered who these people are that traffic drugs into America? You come to discover these people do it for the same reasons people in first world movies do very risky things - desperation. Superb acting.

14. The Motorcycle Diaries (drama)

A tale of two pre-revolutionary Latin American leaders traveling South America. Not often you see a dramatic, eye-opening road trip.

13. The Chronicles of Riddick (sci-fi action)

Yes, I'm placing a movie nominated for a Razzie or two that is a sequel to a movie I have never seen all the way though here. It's the most fun, mindless, but never numbing movie of the year. Pure, fun popcorn.

12. Hero (foreign drama)

It's an updated version of the Japanese classic Rashoman. Not a bad thing. Especially when Yimou Zhang is directing Jet Li , Ziyi Zhang, Tony Leung

11. Elf (comedy)

I'm not sure why I never realized the awesomeness of Will Ferrell's comedy until this. His innocence is what makes this work beyond being just a holiday movie.

10. Napoleon Dynamite (comedy)

It's about as dry an American comedy as you can get. It's 80s meets 00s. The main character is great along with Pedro.

9. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (drama)

It's a movie that's hard to explain. Between Michel Gondry and Charlie Kaufman, that's not surprising. A most surreal and illogical film. And it's about relationship breakups and memory. Yes strangely compelling.

8. Passion of the Christ (drama)

First off, it's hard to watch. It's brutal. Having studied religious art and some passion plays, it's rather true to those origins. Not to mention the risk of doing an entire movie in Aramaic. Best cinematography of the year.

7. Super-Size Me (documentary)

First time a documentary really made me think about what I eat. Yes, it's really propoganda, but you cannot help but realize how bad the fast food is on your body. This movie made me avoid McDonalds. Most of the time at least.

6. Butterfly Effect (sci-fi)

If there was a movie that affected me personally in 2004 it was this one. I totally forgot about some incidents and people in my youth. This movie resurrected all of this. It's the best real non-comic sci-fi movie I've seen in many years. I hope this movie is not a flash in the pan for the directing duo.

5. Team America:World Police (comedy)

Okay. Where do I start? Puppets. Puppets doing action movie kinds of stuff. Puppets doing stuff only Trey Parker and Matt Stone (South Park) would dare to do. You know where I'm going. Not to mention - song of the year: America: F%$* Yeah!"

4. Spider-Man 2 (action)

Thought it couldn't get better than the original? The sequel takes great pains to look at where the drive to be a good doer comes from and the curse of being apart from loved ones. It's essentially Batman Returns without the quirky dark turn and better storytelling.

3. The Incredibles (animated)

Pixar takes their story sensibilities to the comic book world and creates a blend of modern and 50's futuristic. It takes great fun at acknowledging some of the quirks of the superhero genre while never being less than cool.

2. Million Dollar Baby (drama)

I thought boxing movies were done. Just like a lot of people started to write off Eastwood with "Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil." Easily best pure drama of the year. As always, acting and story are king.

1. Garden State (comedy)

No film has ever made me fall more in love with the lead actress in a film than this one. Not to mention the quirky, offbeat Zach Braff performance. This made me actually check out Scrubs.